It's straight from the office...u'll hate it!

I froze your tear and made a dagger
and stabbed it in my cock forever
it stays there like Excaliber
Are you my Arthur?
Say you are

Take this cool, dark, steel-ed blade
Steal it
Sheath it in your lake
I'd drown with you to be together
Must you breathe?
Cos i need heaven

hahaha makes no sense, just like many other things!

Expectations?

Why are you hiding, you are still right there in my mind, like a ghost in my dreams. I do feel like writing to you or call you but I can’t as I don’t know why? I have so much in my head that I expect to go away from me, at least?

If I cry for help, will you still hold out your arms for me, talk like we used to before? If I tell you all the things, would you still ever love me, hold me & tell all the things you want to tell me? I can no longer refuse the facts, as they all are swimming tirelessly in my head. Have to accept the temptations as I sit here alone, with my mind wondering, wandering, expecting…

No one is watching me, so no one knows as I slip into my own seclusion & fool around with my own illusions. Reality is not so far away from me now as I feel my imminent future; reality does make its presence felt, as always I expect things out of my bounds…

My body slips far from my restless, mindless conclusions; I wonder if there will be at least any silly solutions. As I am making a fool of myself sometimes; just as I did yesterday (that’s what I think, how could I respond, it’s been a long time, been hurt) How can I make a decision, I miss you but I am right in the middle of the persons I like, even you may be. Well I have you to be with me, that’s what I think again & again

Can I still be yours? Well if you deny me this plea, it leaves me nowhere to go. But...

I really expect to be in your arms, feeling free, I will be as this love (?) for me is as real as it can be, to love you even if you won't and love you for all of eternity….but who cares/dares to love for ever***...times change and so do people!

The "True" Bullshit

I write love with my hands raised to praise,
I write laughter to try and drive away the haze.
I write sorrow to try and make the world cry,
I write the truth to try and touch the skies.
I write the lies to deceive your simple mind,
I write for evil to tell you about our kind.
I write for God to show us the holy light,
I write pride to help you along lifes fight.
Yes, I write this bullshit to stay forever alive,
but people judging this shit is what makes me laugh.

"I will live forever in my mind..."

Destiny???

Such twisted fate of instantaneous destruction, such evil lies within this horrible idiotic construction.
Dealing the certain fate, the cruel hand of loves lost, the devil fucking your mind to show you who's boss.
Just another bottle of my new pals, whiskey, beer, and the thoughts go away to fill this breach beyond reach.
To believe in such things as destiny, love and fate, only makes this heart feel so used and second rate.
The moral of this story about destiny when life feels sunk?
Don't fucking write when you're so fucking drunk.

hahahaha more later!!

WhAt MySteRy Is ThIs?!

What mystery is this thing called love? Many know how elusive it is! The years of my searching are numbered in the minds of women/girls, but this mean heart knows no time, only the pain of loneliness.
God, where can I find the answers to my longing, the balance between spirit and flesh. My soul feels like an ocean without water, vast in its emptiness. Its depth exposed, parched by the sun of my own desire. Cryptic visions from my dreams haunt me most of the time,still something urges me to be hopeful.
Where shall I find these answers? Who will answer these moans? The tears of my heart seem like rivers, seeking to fill the void in my soul. I pray from time to time, that this melancholy in life may be shortened, when I will know the meeting of two hearts, again. When??